So.... looked at the price of school and whati wanna do and its going to cost in total $70,000 it looks like a big number but thats how shit crumbles. Looking ahead I would never be able to afford that in Seattle even if I fell in love with the place. Lacking forsight I believe I made a good decision to come back for many different reasons, my grandfather while they thought he was going to be ok didnt end up being that way. while he still has a decent chance it all hinges on the next week or two if he cant beat the cancer he's going to end up dying. my great uncle is in the dying boat as well. My mother lol well shes almost there. So if anything else goes wrong I can be here to see it through. And while my job doesnt pay nearly what I need I can at least live out here its tight but the same as if i were in Seattle if not cheaper expense wise. I can't express my gratitude and regret for everyone and everything that happened out there though. But what can you do? The past is the past all I can do if only gritting and bearing it is roll with the punches. I acted hastily and out of anger, and while I cooled off the plans that got set in motion were already in motion and bearing fruit. Hard to back out when thats all been said and done. And while I still maintain Wy. is the bain of my existence it just shows me more and more where I want to be.
I'm still in the court system over the Malesa ordeal but again, not much I can do about it. So roll with it and move on as much as I can, hell at this rate by the time I actually go to court and get through the system they wont be able to give me probabtion lol I will have served the sentencce while waiting for it all to go through. and yes i have been a good boy. I'm still considered out on bail, and if they give me time served for this amount then I will be pretty much free. I still have no idea whats going to happen with school if I will pay for it out of my pocket or if I will get aid, last time i tried to get my fasfa info sent it brick walled. So I have no idea. what i realize more and more everyday though is that i really want to go to school and get the hell away from this place. Thats my hope and dream and i guess where my resolve is comming from. whether I bring george along or what I just can't let much stop me/ its a matter of building up some momentum now. My financial state isn't so much of a wreck as it once was. So I am optimistic, as far as my moods and issues surrounding all that crap well, damned if I have the money or time to go to a doctor for anything and there are more pressing things than my mental state. So I am managing it and better than before. The weather this morning is something to be desired, 3am and I woke up to hell lol. it started as Rain froze into virtual ice balls and then started to soften up into snow. All the while it was giving birth to thunder and lightning that is one thing that never ceases to amaze me about weather in this part of the states is the random and interesting mix of everything. I have a new desktop I picked it up at a garage sale cheap as snot it ended up only needing a video card and a new hard drive, hell of a buy if you ask me.... only thing is I didnt have an OS to put on it so i put on windows 7 ultimate on it which of course hasnt been released yet so it screams at me that my copy of windows isn't genuine. So when its released i think i will go ahead and buy it the system works amazingly. Next on my list is picking up a new set of glasses somehow so I can see again. While my vision isnt bad enough to impare me while driving it makes things a bit difficult in seeing detail and the difference in colors, plus I'm starting to get headaches again. Overall I guess I'm content with my situation, Anxious and restless as is normal but thats ok. Now time to go smoke again and get some sleep the morning comes to early anymore. I guess thats what happens when you work mostly nights.

So long and Goodnight Good ole Wolf signing off.